Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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