porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
