Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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