Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Randomize
