i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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