whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
