I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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