Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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