Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Randomize
