Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Who died my cat blue again?
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
