i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
