I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
