Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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