Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
