I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
