I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Jerry, you need to find god
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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