Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
