The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize