The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
They are going to name an STD after you.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
