Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
