Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
