Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
