I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
