I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
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