the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
