you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
