His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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