He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
