I'm going to jail i love you
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
