i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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