my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Randomize
