I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
