I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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