Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
