You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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