In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
