put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
