I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
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