wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
We need a shit load of segways right now
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Randomize
