Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
