I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
