nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
it's like heaven, but drunker
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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