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Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I understand Curling. That high.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I look excited, but its just a facade.
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