All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
