You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
