Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
