i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
