If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I fill condoms, not promises.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
