Apparently you make a good broom.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
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