I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I hate all girls vehemently.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
