oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
