capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
