if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
