How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
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