Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize