Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Randomize
