No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
