i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
