he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
