someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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