My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
