He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
