You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
