Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
