I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
