today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
