He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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