i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize