I wish i was in the wii world.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I'm always down for nudity.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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