i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
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