4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Randomize
