im having a threesome with these popsicles
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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