i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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