New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
